About my notebooks.

I've always been a writer. Through middle and high school, I kept a journal. The thing is I never felt that they were safe from prying eyes, so as soon as I filled one up....I tossed it in a random dumpster! Now I wish I'd kept them all. I'd like to read what was on my mind...what was bothering me...what I did. What did I think was important enough to write down? I keep trying to start again, but it's so hard! Little time, no privacy, writer's block...and still I feel they wouldn't be safe. I don't know. When I say my mind is always racing, from one thing to the next, I'm not lying. I've always wondered if it's only me but that can't be possible. I wish I could stop being so stuck in my thoughts...

so I bought five new notebooks.

Overture...

It's wonderful what a smile can hide
If the teeth shine right and it's nice and wide.
It's so magical what you can keep inside
And if you bury it deep no one can find a thing, no.

It makes me so sad. Why cant it be fixed?? Why is it better without than with?? What about a second opinion?? This will be life-altering for everyone, this isnt to be taken lightly!!! I feel so bad. And how can they not tell him?? This affects him too!! Oh god, how will he react? He'll, surely, blame himself. There has got to be another way. If only I knew it all!! Oh god, this is a nightmare.

GREAT DIALOGUES OF PLATO

I am currently reading the Great Dialogues of Plato. This book really suits me, as I love reading books with subject matter which I dont fully understand. I like to feel challenged when I pick up a book, not as if I'm reading a magazine or gossip column. Aside from my little family, I keep to myself mostly. As far back as I can remember I've always been shy, quiet, too analytical for my own good. I live in my head a lot, sorting through details, analyzing what was said, pondering the "what if's." Which brings me to a few points: 1) I am going to study Philosophy when I start school in the fall 2) I wonder if I was a philosopher of sorts in my past life?


ONE THING I WOULD FIGHT FOR TO THE END, BOTH IN WORD AND DEED IF I WERE ABLE--THAT IF WE BELIEVED THAT WE MUST TRY TO FIND OUT WHAT IS NOT KNOWN, WE SHOULD BE BETTER AND BRAVER AND LESS IDLE THAN IF WE BELIEVED THAT WHAT WE DO NOT KNOW IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND OUT AND THAT WE NEED NOT EVEN TRY. --SOCRATES